 A long time ago, I was very bad at dating. I did not know why. I just knew I felt sad a lot.I would meet a very nice person. They were kind to me. They wanted to be my friend. But then, I would run away. I would find a bad thing about them. I would say, “They are too nice.” I would stop talking to them. Do you ever do this? Do you push good people away?
If you do this, you are not bad. You are not broken. Your brain is just scared. Your brain wants to keep you safe. So, it tells you to run away before you can get hurt.
But there is another reason we do this. We look at our phones too much. We look at romantic love memes.
What Are Romantic Love Memes?
Romantic love memes are funny pictures on the internet. They have words on them. They are jokes about love and dating.
Some romantic love memes are very funny. But some of them are harmful. They tell us lies.They say that love should be hard. They say that good people are boring. They say that fighting is fun. They make it look cool to be mean to someone who likes you.
When we look at these romantic love memes every day, we start to believe them. We think, “If love is not crazy, it is not real.” This is a big lie. But our brains believe it anyway.
Why We Push Good People Away
When we look at romantic love memes, we learn bad habits. We learn to look for trouble.
Here is what happens. You meet a nice boy or girl. They smile at you. They are nice to you. But your brain feels scared. It says, “Wait! This is too easy! Something is wrong!”
So, you start to look for a bad thing.
- You say, “They talk too loud.”
- You say, “Their shoes are ugly.”
- You say, “They like me too much.”
Are these things really that bad? No. You are just scared. You want to leave first. If you leave first, they cannot hurt you later.
Why We Run When Things Are Good
Sometimes, dating is going very well. You are happy. The other person is happy. You are having fun.
Then, you feel very weird. You feel like you need to run. You want to pick a fight. You want to ignore their text messages. You want to make a big problem out of nothing.
Why do you do this? Because happy feels strange to you.
If you are used to sad feelings, happy feelings feel scary. Your brain says, “I do not know this! This is new! Run away!”
You are used to bad feelings. Bad feelings feel safe because you know them. Good feelings feel like a trick. But good feelings are not a trick. Good feelings are what real love is.
How to Stop Doing This
You can stop pushing people away. It takes time, but you can do it. Here is how:
- Stop looking at bad pictures. Stop looking at romantic love memes that make fun of love. Do not look at pictures that say being mean is cool. Only look at things that make you feel happy and calm.
- Wait one day. When you want to run away, stop. Do not do anything. Wait one whole day. Most of the time, the scared feeling will go away. Then, you can make a good choice.
- Tell your brain you are safe. When you meet a nice person, talk to your brain. Say, “I am safe. This person is nice. Nice is good.” You have to teach your brain that love is safe.
- Practice being happy. Sitting with a happy feeling is hard at first. It is like riding a bike. You have to practice. Let the nice person be nice to you. Take a deep breath. Say, “I deserve this.”
You do not have to be sad. You do not have to hide. You can put the phone down. You can stop looking at romantic love memes that tell you lies. You can let love be easy. You can let love be good.
