Is it possible to have an open sexual relationship successfully in the long term? After all, we rarely see them in the media, and most couples deal with them privately. Von Heidegger addressed the concerns of a happily single participant who generally disliked committed relationships but was intrigued by the idea of an open sexual relationship:
I think it depends on how you define a sexual relationship. If by “open” you mean you can have sex with whoever you want, then I know plenty of people who have this arrangement and it works well. They have the freedom and autonomy to date whomever they want. That being said, I believe that any kind of sexual relationship requires some kind of commitment. And I don’t mean a commitment to monogamy; I mean a sexual relationship and the energy of caring for the other person, discussing their needs, and having conversations about the other person.
You may have a long-time friend and that’s enough for you, but there may be some people who don’t want to do that with you. So, I think it’s possible, but if it works for you, why would you want to have a long-term sexual relationship? Or why do you think an open sexual relationship didn’t work? Are you influenced by feelings that “it’s bad that it happens”? Do you think you should have a committed sexual relationship? Because if it works for you and makes you feel good, then that’s great. I’m glad you found a way to be your authentic self without feeling tied down. And I think any worthwhile sexual relationship takes effort. So it may not be as simple as just going back and forth. Some people find this lonely, but if it works for you, that’s great. Go for it.
